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Idiot Attributes: Juggling, Balancing, Comedic Improv, Musical Performance, Impressions
Blammo was born at a very young age. He and his little sister, Shivaree, were raised by a small pile of acorns in a small blue hat. For years, Blammo spent his early evenings sitting under the big tree named Robert, and he would spend hours looking at his picture books until he would shout, “GAH! I can’t read this any longer! It’s just the same thing over and over!” Then Shiv would walk by and turn the page. “Oh…” he’d say. “There’s more… Nice.”
When he was old enough, Blammo left home in search of a really good sandwich. He found that sandwich under a nearby rock, but soon discovered that he had become lost and could not find his way home. After pondering his situation for nine days, he decided that this seemed like a good opportunity to venture forth and seek his fortune in life.
Five minutes later, he found an attractive pack of rabid professional turtle racers (with big 80s hair), and he sat on one of them until they agreed to let him be part of their group. Blammo’s career as a turtle racer was not a successful one, but lasted quite a few years. His vocation as a turtle jockey was limited by the fact that he was, in fact, too massive and girthy to ride the poor little terrapins without flattening them past the point of expiration… way past the point of expiration.
His fellow racers were posed with a dilemma. They had become fond of the simple, giant Blammo, but they could not continue to allow him to press the third dimension out of their entire stable. So, they suggested to him that he should pick one steed and train exclusively with that critter. He settled on one unfortunate turtle who quickly acquired the name “Pancake.”
Blammo and Pancake would spend every day together. They never seemed to get very far, as Pancake was quite dead, but that never discouraged Blammo (mostly because he never noticed). However, one day- years later, after the awkward pair had just finished doing “laps,” Blam looked up and noticed that he had, in fact, only been about 20 feet from his home the entire time. This seemed to him to be an appropriate time to visit his sister.
His fellow racers encouraged his trip home for an extended stay, and they promised to take good care (bury) Pancake while Blam was away. Blammo excitedly packed his belonging, booked passage on a sea vessel, and then walked across the street to his old home.
Blammo was greeted by his sister and the crew of professional idiots that she had become part of, and he sat on one of them until they agreed to let him be part of their group. Thus began his career as a professional idiot with Delirio del’Arte.
When Blammo asked Shiv if she missed him, she said, “If I ever started to, I would check on you from time to time… by looking across the street.”
Blammo’s alter-ego is David P Schoen.
David has been an actor and performer for well over 2 decades, he is a proud founding member of Delirio, and he enjoys the Oxford comma and a good sandwich.
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